From the many years I have spent on a self development journey, combined with what I have learnt from my Buddhist practice, I understand that there are two types of happiness – relative and absolute.

Relative happiness, so called because it is related to what is going on around us at any given moment, is transient and dictated purely by external events. It occurs because something good has happened. Absolute happiness is an in-depth life state where one experiences happiness and fulfilment no matter what is going on. In other words, happiness continues to occur in spite of external events. Absolute happiness has an indestructible quality and is therefore more preferable to relative happiness.

Not that there is nothing wrong with relative happiness. We all feel uplifted when the weather is sunny or we find a twenty pound note in our pocket or when we are asked out on a date by a lovely person. However, if a few weeks or months go by and the weather is bad, our job is constantly stressful and we don’t have enough money – then the external triggers for happiness are not there. In this set of circumstances, if you only look outside of yourself for happiness and contentment then you are not going to find very much of it.

So it is all very well for the spiritual leaders and personal development gurus to dictate that absolute happiness is the way forward but when we are swamped by depression, self doubt or self loathing how can we actually achieve it?

Based on my own experiences, I think that absolute happiness is not about having a smile on your face all the time. Instead it is about developing a strong enough life condition to always have the courage to continue in the face of disappointment or to have the wisdom to see beyond immediate obstacles to the bigger picture. It also generated from taking small, regular steps towards your hearts desire even if your step pattern turns out to be two steps backward before you go forward! We need to have faith that we are on the right track even if current circumstances don’t yet prove this.

Manifesting a state of absolute happiness requires effort. When the chips are down we have to remember that it exists and decide whether we have a willingness, or not, to embrace it. I believe that at the moment you commit to finding absolute happiness in the midst of a difficult situation, then this is the also moment you simultaneously reveal it. Or, to put it more simply – the journey is the destination. When you commit to embarking on the journey to seek absolute happiness then you are building the life condition which allows you to experience it.

Where are you on the happiness scale? If your life is currently lacking any joy then spend some time pondering what happiness means to you. What essential components do you need to be happy? If the majority of these components are external factors then think more about absolute happiness. What help and support do you need to create more depth in your life? What additional practical action do you need to take in order to achieve your goals?

Can we be happy all the time? In terms of relative happiness the answer would have to be no. From the point of view of absolute happiness then the answer is yes. Perhaps a better question is – can we attain absolute happiness?